Interview with Vinitha, Author of Hug Yourself

In this candid interview, Vinitha explores body image, intergenerational shame, self-acceptance, and why compassion not perfection is key to helping teens thrive.
on Jun 23, 2026

Frontlist: So much of how we see our bodies - and judge each other’s starts with stereotypes we inherited, not ones we chose. We pass the stigma down like it’s wisdom. Most people don’t fit the mould, and yet the mould never gets questioned. Where do you think the change really needs to start?

Vinitha: I agree. A lot of stereotypes are intergenerational. And yes in many ways we inherit these stereotypes so early and so quietly that they feel like common sense, not conditioning. So if we want real change, it can’t just be about telling teenagers to ‘love their bodies’ in isolation. That puts the burden entirely on them, while the environment stays toxic.I believe the change needs to start in everyday language at home and in schools. When adults stop commenting on their own bodies as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ days, stop praising weight loss as an automatic achievement, and stop dividing food into ‘guilty’ and ‘virtuous’... things that kids pick up and take with them as they grow into adolescence. We have to model curiosity over judgment. I also think that we need to rethink how we teach health. Right now, health is often reduced to weight and appearance. And, while how we are showing bodies and skin colour in media has changed we need to push harder to show a range of bodies living normal,unremarkable, happy lives not before/after transformations. That normalises the idea that no one body type owns dignity.

Frontlist: What do you like and dislike most about your own body - and how do you make peace with it? Is letting it go really the only solution, or is there something more honest than that?

Vinitha: To be honest, this question is tricky for me because the whole point of my book is that we don't have to locate a 'dislike' about our bodies at all. That framing almost forces you to search for something wrong with yourself, and that defeats the purpose of body positivity for teenagers.

I'll give you a personal example. I used to be deeply shamed about my skin colour. It was a real vulnerability for years. But here's the thing  I've genuinely worked on my self-esteem, and today, my skin colour doesn't bother me. Not even on a bad day. I don't think about 'making peace' with it or 'letting it go', because those terms still suggest there's something to tolerate or forgive. There isn't.

What I've learned and what I want teenagers to know  is that body image is fundamentally a mental health issue. It's not about finding the right affirmation or learning to 'accept' a flaw. It's about reprogramming how you see yourself at the core. That's inner engineering. Some days are better than others, sure but the goal isn't management. The goal is compassion. To be able to look at yourself in the mirror and genuinely feel love. I do this every day.

So I can't give you a neat answer about what I dislike and how I make peace with it. What I can tell you is that I refuse to raise that question to a teenager who's just learning that they were never broken to begin with."

Frontlist: .In India, the judging starts the moment a child is born - colour, eyes, features, whether they look “good enough.” Why do we do this? And what does it cost a child who grows up hearing those comparisons before they can even speak?

Vinitha: It is shocking to know but research shows that most of the body shaming starts from home. And it is inter-generatonal. A grandmother/parent hating that the child is dark-skinned or the height of the child is what they think is problematic often the person who was herself/himself bullied as a child or shamed at home. We continue this cycle by passing on the shame and unless someone in this cycle heals or seeks healing it goes on.

Frontlist: “Hug yourself” is advice most Indian mothers never gave us. Where did those two words come from?

Vinitha: It is the simplest two words in the world and the gesture is the most symbolic form of self-acceptance. We started the project of curating the stories as “project hug yourself’ and it just stayed.

Frontlist: Stereotypes breed the habit of judging, and judging becomes second nature so quickly – we barely notice we’re doing it. Do you think India can ever truly outgrow this? Or is that too hopeful a question?

Vinitha: We have worked very hard to break stereotypes. With skin colour, with body sizes, with skin afflictions. I've seen the young already do this. They correct each other. They refuse to participate in colourism jokes. They ask, ‘Why is that funny?’ if you make fat jokes. That is already progress. But here's the thing: stereotypes in India are incredibly old, incredibly layered, and often about caste… wrapped in ‘culture’ or ‘tradition’ so tightly that questioning them feels like betrayal. Skin colour, body size, facial features, height… we have a hierarchy for everything.
So yes, we are trying and yes we have made a teeny tiny dent, but this is work in progress.

Frontlist: This magazine is anchored in Pride - in queer bodies, bodies that don’t fit, bodies that have had to fight for the right to be seen. Did Hug Yourself go there? And if not - why not, and should it have?

Vinitha: Yes we did. We have two entries in the anthology by a queer contributor.

Frontlist: If a parent came to you and said “I don’t want my child reading this,” what would you say to them?

Vinitha: I would say, “Ok.” I would be very curious to know why they don’t want their child to read stories that empower their children and what fears they harbour. In all my sessions with the book I have found that the parent stayed glued to their seat even when they did not have to stay. Many of the parents are people of my generation who really had it bad. They hear their own stories being told. They stay and, at the end of the session, they share their own stories.
People have the right to do or choose to not do something. This book doesn't tell teenagers to stop caring for their health. It tells them that their worth is not negotiable based on their size, shape, or colour. If a parent fears that lesson, I’d ask: what exactly are you afraid your child will believe about themselves if they learn that they are enough exactly as they are?’

Frontlist: This issue is called “Stories That Claim Space.” What space did you personally have to claim to make this book exist?

Vinitha: For me, the space I had to claim was the space to speak without an 'expert' shield. I am not a psychologist. I am not a doctor. I am someone who was shamed for her skin colour, who understood that feeling unloved and unloveable was what came in the way of so many personal and professional decisions and who also understood that body shaming had nothing to do with the body. It was, among many things, about mental health and intergenerational trauma and that so many of us struggled with it in a world that increasingly was being engineered through technology to make people believe in how one ought to look.
So the first space I had to claim was the permission to put this book together. The second space was emotional honesty over academic safety.